A smile worth sharing!

Today the children and I are on quest.......a quest to bring smiles to the faces of strangers. We know and practice the power of smiling all the time. It's a particular useful skill when one of us may become a bit too serious and then be lead to smile on account of someone elses silliness. This morning, for example, Charlotte was devastated that Daddy had to go to work.......again!!! So, in an effort to reverse her tears Daddy became silly, made silly faces, started to laugh, and even though it took a little time, Charlotte's tears stopped and she began to giggle. It wasn't until after Daddy left that she came running for the window and with a laugh and a smile waved good-bye, lovingly. It's in these little moments that I realize how much power we have to change a situation, for the better. We always have a choice in any situation to help someone to feel better.



I'm not suggesting that we become enablers or martyrs, I'm simply hoping that when a time arises that we are given the opportunity to rise up, we will. There is a moment, recently, where I can think of a time I didn't, and of course now, I wished I had. I was at a meeting and a dear friend of mine, who's mother had just passed away, arrived. I was shocked to see her, and she barely smiled. She wouldn't even speak throughout the meeting. My eyes met hers and then we looked away. I didn't even have a second to give her a smile. At one moment during the meeting, she abruptly stood up and said she had to go. My gut was telling me to follow her and reach out, but, being that we were in a stated meeting, I hesitated and let her walk out. My heart was pounding and kept screaming at me to "GET UP!!! GO TO HER!!!".......but I didn't. It's these times, when our hearts are reaching for us to go the next mile, where we have the most power to make difference, even if it's only a smile.



In discussing this with the children (they're on school break this week so I thought it was a perfect time to introduce some alternative learning) I asked them what they thought might be fun ways to bring smiles to people we don't know. The first idea was to simply smile at someone who walks by us. Easy enough! Then we thought of simply acts of kindness......holding the door for someone, picking something up for someone who accidentally dropped it, helping an older person put the cart away at the grocery store, leaving smiley face notes on random cars. These ideas came with a flurry of others and from them we decided that we would come up with little notes....."You have a beautiful smile"......"You are a good friend"........"Thank you for being you"........and leave them in various places around town. On someones windshield, on a table at a restaurant, on a bathroom mirror. It's a quest. One that is exciting because it's meant to be secretive.....one that is joyful because it will bring a smile to someones face.



Today, while you're out in the world running your errands, working, or simply going out for lunch, maybe think of how you could change someones day with a smile. There are many people are quietly suffering, you would never know their sadness that sits within them. A simple smile and acknowledgement of their existence could change everything.

"Smile more. Laugh often. Live much."

Love is all around us.......

A simple collection of the love that exists around me and my family. There is no greater gift than love. It heals, brings hope, fulfillment, power, and creation. My wish is that love caresses your life everyday, like a gentle kiss on your cheek or the wind blowing through your hair, may you find the love that is all around you.

 

 

Love the One Your With

To err is human, to love is divine. There is nothing more pure than the gift of unconditional love. You can love your dog or car. You might love chocolate or going to the movies. The question is......WHO do you love unconditionally? Your kids? Your spouse? Your parents? Do you love them without rigid conditions that leave your gift empty? Do you love those around you even when they may disappoint you? Do you hold it against them? Love is said to be a virtue......why is it so hard sometimes to just be in it? To love without fear; to love without hesitation; to love without the hope of anything in return.



This study on love is lifelong. It never ends. We practice our love with those around us, good or bad. There is one creature in my life that I love unconditionally, my cat, Miles, or Mamösh, as he is affectionately known. Now, I'm not saying I don't love my children or my husband, because I do. Endlessly. I love them with all of my being, however, I'm not so perfect as to think that my love is not muddled, or altered in some way. My cat, well......he loves me. He doesn't ask anything of me, he cuddles me at any opportunity, in fact he is sitting in my lap loving me as I write. Miles knows when all I need is a good hug to help make life tolerable again. Miles doesn't get angry with me, yell at me, ignore me. He doesn't talk back or say anything that is hurtful. His presence is calm and affectionate. He wants nothing more than to give love. Miles is my 'hero of love.'



Now, that being said, I will share my love for my family. My children, well, they run the ages of 16 months to 11 years. My son (almost 11) is outspoken, bold, intelligent, challenging, selfishly motivated, a powerhouse......he truly would make a great litigator. He questions every answer, even his own. He thinks he knows it all, even when he's asking the questions. He' the sweetest kid but then he can be really unfriendly. My son is the greatest contradiction. I think it's the age, or maybe because he's a boy, either way, being his Mother is a task. One that the great Lord above trusted with me to provide. The Lord gave me this child as a reminder of what a struggle it is to be firm yet gentle, honest yet obscure, easy going yet not too much. The Lord above knew that I needed the lessons that our son would bring in order for me to move on to the person I'm wishing to grow into. He brings with him the lesson of balance. I love my son. I love him 'all the way to the moon and back.' Sometimes, though, and I'll admit it, it is difficult. I don't ever take or wish my love away, but sometimes, after several winter days cooped up inside, after multiple moments of needing to raise my voice over hurtful words spoken or a swat to the back, I'm angered beyond consolable and for a moment........our love is conditional. It's much easier to love when the person receiving your love does things, say things or behaves the way you want them to. When caution goes to the wind and unfavorable behaviour slips out, the heart aches and the thought......"how is it possible to love but feel so hurt" may come to mind. When all is said and done, my son and I usually share a spot on my bed, snuggle in together, we usually choose not to speak because typically too much has been said already. We sit, wrapped up in each other, breathing and relaxing into the love that we share this is not conditional. At that same moment when our sub-conscious knows we're in that space one of us will say those words we always long to hear......"I love you".



Now, my oldest daughter is kind, forgiving, sneaky, spiteful at times, compassionate, and well, 9. She is learning the art of words......nice or not. She is learning the art of working it.....for good or bad. There again, the Lord knew that I needed to learn the lessons that she came with: tolerance, forgiveness, friendship. When this child and I come to blows it's a teary one, for both of us. Neither one of us likes to know that we've been hurt by the other. We are both sensitive creatures. I find that the naked honesty of being able to cry together is what has been the glue that keeps us held together so well. We might share some words......get upset and holler at each other. In the end, we'll meet on the sofa in her room, look at each other, apologize where it might be needed and then.....talk it out. There is never more than a moments time where there is anger between us, but, in that short lapse of time, we are both loving conditionally. And just as fast as the conditions came, they go. Then our love is able to flow without borders.



Thankfully, the littlest girls don't talk back just yet. They haven't learned the hurtful words of our preteen children. They don't even have it in their bones. They do know how to sneak into the cookie jar, write on the walls with marker, or stuff the toilet with a whole roll of toilet paper. At this stage, I've been there and done that. Now, I can just laugh or cry, depending on the scenario. I'll express my disparagement and usually the 3 year old will help clean up. The babies love unconditionally. They love that I'm around. They love that Mama makes pancakes. They love me because I am their Mama and nothing else matters. Of course every parent dreams of having children that won't ever dislike them or breathe a word of dissatisfaction towards them, but history proves, that no matter how cool you are, how much you bathe them with all the affections of the modern world, no matter how much you sacrifice of yourselves......eventually, they will love you with conditions. Not for ever, but, for brief moments in time when you said "No" or didn't allow them to have a sleep over, or couldn't (for whatever reason) take them shopping. The list is endless, but luckily, so is love. Love is an endless resource. Our wells go deeper than any spring. Our love can always be counted on to perk just when it's needed, or even just because. It flows......love flows. It is energy of the purest kind. Love is what brings us closer to our God of choice. God is Love.



The love I share with my partner.....well, I deem it very special. He loves me. I love him. These things we know. We are passionately in love. We still get excited to see each other. We want nothing more than to be together. In fact, the more time we spend apart the more we tend to argue. We still get that googly eyed look for each other, we hold hands at every possible turn (in the car, at the store, just because). We are madly in love with each other. Conditions......they do exist between us. Like with my children, I never wish nor do I ever take away my love for my partner, however, sometimes he just does things that really get me upset. For that brief moment, I love him MORE when he's not doing whatever it is that makes my hair stand on end like leaving a dirty sink, filling the garbage can too full, sitting in the bathroom for what seems like hours at a time. The same is true for him, I'm sure, like when I leave the laundry unfolded, let our dog sleep on our bed, or my many mood swings. I know, these things are trivial, however, it is the little things said or done that causes the rift of conditionality. At the end of the day, if we have been effected by something caused by the other, we talk. Before we go to bed we remind each other that there is no other person in this world we would want to share this journey with. It is for that reason we know our love, whether conditional or not, will always reign.



I am writing on this topic in honor of the upcoming 'holiday'. St. Valentine's day. This day is advertised for lovers. As a married couple with children we have never celebrated this holiday just the two of us but the six of us. We share a nice supper, exchange loving words, I usually bake a heart shaped something to sweeten the pot. We celebrate as a family. It just seemed natural to want to share this day that is about love with the whole family, not just Mom and Dad. It seemed more appropriate to say "I love US" as opposed to "I love (just) YOU." In honor of this seven year tradition we will continue to make cards for everyone in the family. I will make a supper fit for kings and queens and princes and princesses for the whole family. We will love without condition, all day! I will, for the sake of love, let go of all the things I 'think' should be (behaviour, actions, words spoken) and allow myself the privilege of just loving. Letting that golden honey flow from the endless pot without a single thought of how much is going out but what is being gobbled up. I will just love and love and love. If the children should test me......I pray that the Lord will allow my the fortitude to find a loving way in which to handle it. *This is a daily prayer, by the way!*

In these long winter months, by this time, it's all about getting survival. Once in March, spring arrives, then in April the blooms pop, and in May, well, the weather might actually be decent. I think putting a 'holiday' about love smack dab in the middle of winter was brilliant. We need a reminder during these months of hard frosts, treacherous weather with most days spent indoors to celebrate that which made our families....Love. We could use a good healthy dose of love to get us through the next 6 weeks until spring. This post is nothing but a reflection of what I'm choosing to work on and what am choosing to save me these last few weeks. Being in love and saying it, in it's real strength and more often. I am lucky to say that one of the first things all of my children learned to say was "I love". We say it a LOT in this house. Over and over and over. The key is being able to say it and really truly mean it, where every single word is in it's power. I. LOVE. YOU. There is nothing more powerful than those three words together.
As you think about what love means to you and your family, maybe you might examine how conditions might play a role in your life. With friends, family, pets, co-workers. They do exist for us all. I don't know a single person who is free from condition. We are lucky enough to be able to start over, every day. We wake up and have the power to make a difference in our life or someone elses, and if in those moments we let love lead us......anything is possible.



Say it. Mean it. Practice it.
I LOVE YOU!

"Mirth is God's medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it." ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Laughter. The single most important remedy to fix any an ailment. Laughter. It eases the soul, warms the belly,fills the lungs and quickens the heart. Does it get any more perfect than that? To revel in that awesome achy-faced satisfaction is like rolling around in a vat of chocolate......it's pure heaven

As a parent, sharing a laugh with my children is akin to being tickled. Their laughter is so contagious, regardless or not if I've had anything to do with bringing them that pure joy of a belly laugh. Their eyes well up, the faces turn red, their mouths turn up as high as they can go. Their laughter is exhilarating, innocent, holy. Through my children's laughter I can hear their spirits sing.



We try to bring laughter into our home at every turn. My husband is a superior jester. If he can turn anything into a joke, he will. It's because of this that most meals that we share together as a family there is a moment or two or three where we all have to put our forks down and safely swallow whatever it is we were trying to devour between laughing fits. Children LOVE jokes. I've noticed, especially between the ages of seven and nine, there is an almost innate desire to become a comedian. To share in that glory of bringing someone to laughter. There is grace in that, I believe. To make someone feel so good that they must laugh, to bring someone a happiness that forces them to blurt out their laughter (controlled or not). Laughter brings joy to the laugh-er and the laugh-ee.



There is something to behold in side-splitting redemption. Peace, love, happiness, ecstasy. The comfortable familiarity that is suggested between a pair that is laughing. Their truly is comfort there. I implore you to laugh today. Bring laughter to someone else; even just a smile would do. Hold hands and laugh until your blue in the face. There really is no better medicine. Laugh because your sad. Laugh because your crazy!!! Laugh because there is no other reason except to bring relief to a heavy heart.

Let go of your inhibitions and laugh as if there is no tomorrow.

* tickle some one's foot
* chase your child
* brush up on your joke stock
* watch a funny movie
* play dress up with your child
* make funny faces in the mirror
* play charades
* laugh in the face of deception
* smile when someone is being unfriendly
* where there is sorrow, listen to music
* where there is happiness, dance in it

Sweet Surrender

The fabric of our lives, woven together by thin strands of irreplaceable chords.....relationships,moments,thoughts,memories,wishes. In this grand tapestry where the story of our lives is told, I am honored to hold a piece of the cloth so dear to my heart. My daughter, Bella. Today is Bella's ninth birthday. She's made it through a very rough seven year transition. She is figuring out her way among her social circle. Admitting to us that our lives are so very different than those she encounters on a daily basis that it is a struggle sometimes to remain authentic. What an amazing journey to be on, not only our own separate journey but then along the one that our children take. It is a journey. All of a sudden it began the moment you knew that a life was growing inside your womb and then *POW* there is this little creature, all new and small. Who knew that being a mother would cultivate the most unpredictable garden.



Bella is our second child. She is twenty-one months younger than her older brother and six years older than her younger sister and seven and a half years older than the baby. She is an amazing sister. She is loyal, loving, compassionate, concerned, protective, honest, and simply perfect. Her gentle smile and ice blue eyes will pierce even the hardest stone. She can melt a heart from miles away. Our little angel. She is a healer, a fairy, an imp at times. She is simply divine.

Our Bella doesn't ask for much but this year she did request Mama's cinnamon buns. I'm always looking for a reason to perfect my recipe, and her birthday is the perfect day to try them out......again. How could I not indulge my darling on her birthday?



To make the dough you dissolve on packet of dry active yeast to 1/2 cup of warm water. Add a little honey so the yeast has something to nibble on. Next mix together 1/2 cup of hot milk, 1/4 cup of sweetener, 2/3 cup of butter, 1 tsp. salt, and one egg. Mix this together until it turns into a syrupy, golden bowl of goodness. Add 1 1/2 - 2 cups of flour. Mix this in with until it's a sticky, gooey mess. Then, add the yeast mixture. Stir this together and add another 1 1/2 - 2 cups of flour. Add it in slowly and stir. When the dough begins to pull away from the side of the bowl begin to knead it, in the bowl, and add more flour as you need to keep it from getting sticky. Do this for about 5 minutes. Cover with a damp cloth and let it rise until it has doubled in size. About 1 hour or so.



When the dough has risen completely roll it out on a lightly floured surface. Aim for a length of 15-18 inches and a width of 9-12. The shorter the dough the less and fatter the buns!!! To make the filling, that gorgeous, cinnamony, crunchy concoction that makes you close your eyes and think "YUM" is very simple, indeed. Mix together about 1 1/2 cups of brown sugar, 2 1/2 tsp. of cinnamon, and chopped pecans. That. Is. It. Melt a stick of butter and brush it onto the rolled out dough. Sprinkle your filling all over, being careful not to over fill the edges. To roll the dough, start from the side furthest from you. Roll the dough toward you, making sure to keep the rolls as tight as possible. Using a serrated knife, slice the ends off and then slice your rolls. You can choose how thick you like, I tend to cut mine 3/4 - 1 inch in width. Leaving me with 14 or so buns. If you've used all of your filling go ahead and make a little more to cover the tops of the cinnamon buns with. Bake them for 30-45 minutes at a 350 degree oven.



It's true that only the simple things make life grand. Knowing that these little gems covered with a sea of cinnamon goodness brings joy to the heart of my Bella makes it that much more joyful for me to grant this wish of pure sweetness. Happy Birthday, my darling.

In the bleak mid-winter

The frozen tundra. That is where I am currently living. Every square inch of existence is under snow and ice and the temperature is below zero. It. Is. Cold. This mere fact provides one of the greatest opportunities.......to bake. There is nothing more warming and satisfying then to bake with children and then to eat your creation. Today, we baked bread. Banana bread, in fact, with nuts and lots and lots of bananas.



Charlotte was my helper. She usually is, as it is a most difficult feat to keep her out of the kitchen. So, in an effort to keep things peaceful, she helps......and I love it. I couldn't ask for a better helper. She loves to have her hands in anything. Having my kids in the kitchen is the single most important experience I feel I can create with them. It provides one on one time, a mathematical lesson, patience, and simply joys. There is nothing more joyful than watching the faces on my children when something that they helped bake comes out of the oven, the anticipation that follows in waiting for it to cool and then.......the sweet redemption of pure bliss while eating their treat. Picture perfect.



Charlotte and I also had the luxury to be able to keep an almost constant eye on our bird feeder. The chickadees were the regular diners this afternoon along with a few sparrows and a blue jay or two......or three. Their need to fill their bellies amidst this frozen land is feverish. It is cold here, and getting colder, so, their one and only concern.......food. Fill up, hunker down, stay fat and happy. Well, we're happy to oblige. I wish we could just invite them all in! They could dine on a regular feast of banana bread crumbs, popcorn, and peanut butter.



The banana bread came out. It's amazing how within moments of its ascension from the oven, one loaf is instantaneously consumed. Mere minutes have passed, and already we're down to one loaf. It warms my heart to know that butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla, banana, flour, baking soda, salt and walnuts, when mixed together and baked, creates a heaven on earth experience......even for the non-banana lovers in our house.



In this bleak mid-winter, as the love of my life, our youngest daughter, and I share an impromptu dance to John Hiatt's Learning to Love You, I am reminded of the true sentiment of the title. Learning to love in the coldest of times is essential. Every one's getting a little cranky, all cooped up. Moods shift with each snow/ice fall. We're all sharing a lot of time indoors together, without so much as a five minute respite. It's not easy.......that being said, learning to love all that we have and not wishing for anything more is key. Each other, for example. I couldn't wish for anything more than family, by birth or chosen. Food, home, hearth, heart. These things will always lead to successful living. It's a beautiful journey, living together. The ups and downs. The side way turns and frontward and backward jolts. All is well. I'm so honored to be able to share it with you.

Fueling the creative fire

Well, months really do pass by, don't they? Chugging along at a speed faster than my own eye can see. In one single blink another month whizzes passed me. Holy moly! I am looking forward to a s........l........o..........w down!!
I've chosen to revisit my blog. I've been inspired to submit writings to a favorite Internet spot of mine. With that lovely lady's acceptance of my work and her suggestion that "Do you have a blog? If you don't, you should." really sparked those creative forces that have been feverishly working for years now to COME OUT AND PLAY!!!!! It's exciting, exhilarating, inspiring, blissful. I'm so honored to be looked as creative by someone outside my box of friends, that, I truly must acknowledge that which I have been suppressing. We are all guilty of that. My husband, an extremely talented musician and songwriter, gets in the way of his own dream. I know several other highly talented people that could truly use a kick in the pants (like the one I got) and they would make amazing things happen. I feel like I would be wasting a real gift if I let this one slip by on account of me being lazy, incompetent, or uninspired.



My children inspire me. Food inspires me. My simple life in the wooded hillside we reside in inspires me. I am a fortunate being on this earth. What truly matters is what I make useful and what I give my energy to. Everything else is a drain. My family, our creative life, our gardens (come spring), our hope and desire for a completely fulfilling life, using up every bit of God given energy, creativity, and moxy. These are the things that matter.



My hope, for 2011, is to "know hope". To realize the dreams of my family and self and TO MAKE THEM HAPPEN. There has never been a better time than right this moment. I encourage anyone who might be reading this to "follow your bliss". "Know hope". Stare your dreams right in the face and say "It is time!"

2011 will be a wonderful year. I wish for you, as I wish for my family, a year full of family, abundance, growth, healing, and peace.