The photo above represents many days over the past month. Our wee Seraphina has been so sick over the past 4 weeks. She's been struck with this on and off again super, raging fever. She presents no other symptoms, just fever.....for days! The last fever lasted 10 whole days reaching as high as 105.2*F. After all these years of being a mother, I have never, once, had a child reach a temperature quite like that. It was scary, unbelievable, stressful, sad, frustrating, you name it and I probably felt it. Not to mention how terrible she felt. But, boy, what a trooper she was. Super snuggles all day and all night, nursing every 20-30 minutes around the clock to keep her hydrated and preventing the need for IV fluids, blood work every few days, sleeping fewer than 45 minutes at a time. I'm noticing that I'm using the word "was" but really, this is where we are now. We're back in this God forsaken territory. The land of the never ending fever with no other symptoms. It's been 4 days now. We've been to the doctor, we've had the blood work and we'll do the follow up appointment tomorrow. Who knows where this one will take us, or how far. It scares me beyond belief to think for a moment what she may have to endure.......even if it's just a bunch of days more of this fever. Seraphina is only 7 1/2 months old!!! Her little body, however strong and resilient, is still so young and vulnerable. *sigh* I'm just a worried Mama wishing I could just make it go away. I don't doubt for a second that many of you have been in similar shoes as I am right now.
The last time our babe was ill I didn't take much interest in finding ways to alleviate my stress and worry. I spent 10 days with that little soul strapped to my body. We never parted, I think I may have only showered twice that whole time and didn't even contemplate going to school. This time around, seeing as the sleep deprivation is beyond acceptable limits, I'm realizing that I truly need to take a moment just to breath, think, cry, soak, and be. The photos below chronicle how I will spend those moment, not all at once, but spread out over the course of this illness......I make that promise myself and my baby that I will also take care of myself.
This gorgeous book was a gift from my husband. He knows me best and must have had an intuition that I would need some fortification along this journey. This book has been deeply satisfying.
I try to keep organic, dried flowers on hand for various projects. My plan is to put some in a little muslin bag and soak them in a bath......just for me, and baby, too! But me first!! The soothing and aromatherapy qualities of each of these flowers will prove to be so healing. I can't hardly wait!! I can't remember the last time I had a bath.....really!!
This picture is of some corny bags. They are simple and wonderful. (I didn't make these ones, these were gifts from my Mother and sister.) All corny bags are is square sacks filled with dried corn. Period. Its what you do with them......you warm them up and use them as heating pads. The warmth they emit is just so healing and deep. Somehow better than just a regular 'ole heating pad.
We were gifted a microwave (used) with these as the preferred method to warm them up. You can also just put them on a heated oven stone or on top of your wood stove, turning them every few minutes to heat them through. The microwave does work a bit faster. I plan to open a few up and pour in some lavender flowers so that when they are heated they will also release they healing scent of lavender.
Above is a simple photo of a candle. I will, with much zeal, sneak to find 10 minutes where I can just sit in silence and meditate. I think when we're in crisis it's so important to allow ourselves the space to just be in it, release what we can and accept the rest so we can keep moving forward. Otherwise, we'll just keep stewing and stagnating and never getting anywhere. Not to mention, it's so important to release the stress of being on 24/7 without a break in sight. I read a beautiful post in tribute to Mama's caring for their sick children, here is a quote from it ::
You can do this.
You can do it with grace. You will do it beautifully. I know you will.
You may need help lifting a bag of dog food.
You might need someone to get a bowl from the top shelf in the cupboard.
But hidden behind your skirts is safety found nowhere else.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be mad.
But be fierce, my friend.
Fight hard.
Push back.
Love your little one.
This is what being a Mom is all about.
Right here. In this moment.
It isn’t about the Little League games, or the perfect nursery, or empty laundry baskets, or college scholarships.
It’s about shining for your baby when they need it the most.
Shine on, Sister.
God is good. Always. No matter what.
You can read the whole post here:: Life Rearranged
Now! For a total non sequitur :) I do have a bit of fun news, A sweet friend of mine emailed me with then news that she had nominated this blog for the Circle of Moms Top 25 Creative Moms award. I wasn't sure I believed her at first, I mean, it's not something that has happened to me......ever!! It wasn't until I received the confirmation email from Circle of Moms that I received the link to my nomination. I am unbelievably humbled. My blog is a very special place for me and my family. It's the place where, one day, my children will be able to look back and see the living proof of their childhood and our life together. It's been my greatest hope that our life's work would somehow inspire others to take a second look to notice the beauty in the little things, the simple things. I feel ever so blessed that it seems as though my wish has come true. I am so inspired by other blogger friends (one in particular:: Sara Wilson from Love in the Suburbs who has also been nominated for this same award) so I'm finding it to be beautifully uplifting that some folks might feel the same way about our work here, in this blog.
If you feel called to do so, I would love it if you might help me get into the Top 25. Click on the button below and scroll down until you find A Simple Life. And while you're there, maybe you could share a vote for my friend Sara from Love in the Suburbs? You can vote for more than one blog at a time, you can vote once everyday until January 30th when the voting closes. I think it would be quite wonderful to be included in the Top 25! My vision for the future of this blog is ever changing......it would feel wonderful to invite others to come along for the ride!
From the bottom of my heart......thank you for your support and friendship and gentle pushes of encouragement to keep following my bliss here in blogland xoxo
well, i just love your blog. and i am voting for you every day!
ReplyDeleteyour poor baby. i wish they would find a reason so at least you would know what was going on. and yes yes yes! mama must take care of herself as well. enjoy your lovely bath and corny bags!
Thank you, love!! Your presence here in blog land is wonderful! I look forward to your visits and sharing these moments with you!! Thank you for inspiring me xo
DeleteYou have my vote!! Your space is so peaceful <3
ReplyDeleteLet's get Waldorf education in to the mainstream eye!!
XOXO
Thank you, Nicole!! I'm humbled that you've come and visited my little slice of blogger heaven!! It truly is a bit of peace for me! So glad you stopped by xo
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