"Let's have a merry journey, and shout about how light is good and dark is not. What we should do is not future ourselves so much. We should now ourselves. "NOW thyself" is more important than "Know thyself." Reason is what tells us to ignore the present and live in the future. So all we do is make plans. We think that somewhere there are going to be green pastures. It's crazy. Heaven is nothing but a grand, monumental instance of future. Listen, now is good. Now is wonderful." ~ Mel Brooks

Monday, December 31, 2012

Welcome 2013

We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden.
~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

As we prepare to ring in another year, I am noticing that I feel full to the brim with excitement, anticipation, and readiness. It has been a long year. No longer than any other, literally, but emotionally, physically speaking.......I'm ready for a new year to begin. I know that nothing truly changes but a few numbers on the calendar, but, somehow it's change enough to help institute a clean slate. The littles and I had the lovely experience of going over all of our photos from the year. Remembering what each one was; what we were doing, how we felt, who was around. To help close out 2012 we chose some photos to highlight. They each held a particular moment or memory.......a beautiful way to let this door close and another one open.
This year was full of Angels, past and present, seen and unseen. Even today, we can realize their power and presence in our life and in our world.

This year was a 'love' year. Everyone was held more, loved more, understood more.

2012 was a big year for 'firsts'; first hair cuts, learning new things (knitting, sewing), beginning new jobs (owning a new business and school).

We said good-bye a lot this year to those we love. We said hello a lot, too!!
This was the year of Papa!! Because of a myriad of reasons, Papa was home LOTS caring for the children while I had to be away. It was bittersweet but I can see now that everyone needed that extra bit of connection with Papa.

June 3, 2012 Seraphina Meadow Mairead was born. She's had a tumultuous six months.....I can only pray they get easier from her on out!

We met many new friends this year. We have also reconnected with many not so new friends. It's been a wonderful year of friendship!!!

We saw much bonding this year between our children. The littles warmly embraced their new sibling and the big kids, well.......they know how to love another xo

There were many beautiful sights to witness this year. Tons of rainbows, sunrises and sunsets, flowers blooming, honey bees dancing, and love blossoming between us all.
This is the last year before my eldest is a teenager. It's so hard to contemplate being the parent of teenager.......it's been that long yet it's only just begun! 
I had to learn to let a lot go this year. I had very little control over many things......I decided to focus on the important things.

We built upon much this year; play things, relationships, solitude, and growth.

This year we tried to be silly! Some days we succeeded.

In 2012 we sought out the light. We had to......
In 2012 we also had to hold on to and build up our faith.
In 2012, I found myself clinging even more tightly to the love of the man I married. He's my rock, my beacon of light.
To ring in the new year we made some hats because, well......you can't have a party without hats!
I also cut out a garland of doves as a symbol of our family's wish to be more peaceful, to act in and cultivate peace. For 2013 I hope to live a life of more peace. I want to be a peacemaker and to continue to teach my children that through love there is peace. Through giving, there is peace. Through trust, there is peace. Our nations need love, giving, trust, and peace desperately......is it not our duty as parents to bring those qualities to life in our own children?
One of our goals for 2013 is to keep our hearts aligned with all those amazing things that we get to experience all year long. You know, the ones that usually get forgotten but mean so much that just the glimpse of their existence is enough to warm our hearts. This year, we will have a goodness jar. We each will slip a dated piece of paper inside the jar (everyday or as inspired to do so) that tells of something wonderful that happened to us or someone else or that we saw that day. My hope is that by the years end, we will have a jar full of amazing memories that will carry us through the next year, inspiring us to dream bigger, be better, hold those we love closer.
2013 will bring many changes to our simple homestead. We will be homeschooling more (bringing the big kids home) and playing more. We will be seeing the beautiful land beyond our own borders, together. We will travel, breathe the ocean air, visit family. A book may be published (fingers crossed), our Etsy shop will come alive again. Life will be fuller than full! Of course, throw in all those little unexpected twists and call it a day!!

We have no way of knowing where our paths will lead us, but we can, with open hearts, wish for and want the best from our waking days. Let not one moment slip by being taken for granted. Let not one day go without telling those you love how deeply you care for them. Let only  the good prevail and let the dusty things fall to the side. Hold on to what is good, give no one evil for evil. Hold up those who need it, be kind. Above all things, let love guide you. Love's light shines brighter than the biggest star......let yours shine!

And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
I am truly wishing you all a glorious New Year. Blessings abound ~ Marcy

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Angel Song is Everywhere

That which we believe to be born anew symbolically every Christmas Night, is the human soul in its original nature, the childhood-spirit of man as it was at the beginning of earth-evolution; then it descended as a revelation from the heavenly heights. And when the human heart can become conscious of this reality, the soul is filled with the unshakable peace that can bear us to our lofty goals, if we are of goodwill.
~ Rudolf Steiner

As sit here, waiting for the words to come, I'm looking out my window and watching the snow fall. It's light, but deliberate. It's steady and will continue to build upon the foundation that lies awaiting it's fall upon the earth. Much like me at this time, I am steady and mindful of my actions, my words. I am light but deliberate with thinking, my love. I am building on the foundation that we as a family have built up together, honoring every brick, every bit of mortar. The power of these 12 holy nights has been astounding.

There are several images from the week that have stayed with me. The image above is a picture of our Remembrance table at our church. This table is decorated every Christmas by the same lady in honor of her husband who passed away at a young age after a long, brave battle with cancer. I grew up with that family so it always stirs my emotions to see the beauty of their love poured out onto this table. She dedicates her act of honor not just to her husband but to all those who are being missed. I saw this table, took a deep breath, and realized (like I do every year) that there were Angels all around us. All over the world there were families missing someone dear to them, our family included. Less than two hours away from me there were 26 families missing, deeply, little angels and warriors that had been taken. I see this table and I see the love of so many, the memories of millions, the longing, the acceptance, and the peace.

Then there is this image. My Charlotte, singing her little heart out with the other children in her Sunday School class. It melted my heart in a way I didn't know it could melt. Her sweet little voice echoing above the others, the words flowing from her mouth like water from a fountain. She didn't waver once. She knew every line. Her 4 year old little heart sang to its deepest content.......and I cried. I cried not because of pride but because I could feel the deep reverence of the moment, the waterfall of peace, the selfless gift of her life. I felt endlessly grateful for her, for my other children, for the children that surrounded her, and for all the other lives that have touched mine.  My gratitude has peaked in a way I never knew it could. 

The fourth light of Advent is the light of man.
The light of love, the light of hope,
To give and understand.
This week has truly been about giving and understanding hope and love. With a world in turmoil, I have never had more hope for a brighter future than I do now. I'm not quite sure that I understand this new sense of hope, but I know it stems from this avalanche of love and gratitude that has been renewed within me. I have always had much love and gratitude but it seems deeper, fuller, less conditional and more open now. Understanding comes from experience.....living in this light has been life changing. This post would go on for days if I explained it all to you, but I'm confident that you might understand.
The powers which bring peace to the soul can be found within ourselves. True peace of soul is present only when that peace has sure foundations, that is to say, when it is a force enabling man to know: In thee lives something which, if truly brought to birth, can, nay must, lead thee to divine Heights, to divine Powers. — The lights on this tree are symbols of the light which shines in our own souls when we grasp the reality of what is proclaimed to us symbolically on Christmas Night by the Jesus Child in its state of innocence: the inmost being of the human soul itself, strong, innocent, tranquil, leading us along our life's path to the highest goals of existence. May these lights on the Christmas Tree say to us: If ever thy soul is weak, if ever thou believest that the goals of earth-existence are beyond thy reach, think of man's divine origin and become aware of those forces within thee which are also the forces of supreme Love. Become inwardly conscious of the forces which give thee confidence and certainty in all thy works, through all thy life, now and in all ages of time to come.
~ Rudolf Steiner
As I delve deeper into these holy nights, I will be more and more immersed in this season of mindfulness. A quite profound gift came my way.......a book of soul and spiritual exercises by Rudolf Steiner. I opened the package and tears just flowed freely. I knew immediately why this book had made its way into my hands and my heart and soul were rejoicing.  The season of my life has just begun, and the tasks at hand are more colorful. I couldn't be more relieved!
Speaking of color.......here are a few photos of how we celebrated our Christmastime. I didn't take too many, for once, I put the camera down and just experienced the moments!

Father and Son impromptu guitar play! Oh, it was magical!
We finally got some sledding snow and a wooden, 6 person toboggan!!!
This past year of blogging has been so full and satisfying. I'm loving that in many ways it has become a testimony to the life I lead with my family, honoring our moments together, and keeping them in a place where they can all look back on and see. A living album of our days. I've enjoyed, very much, sharing this space with you......thank you for welcoming us into your lives. We look forward to more time together.
From our family to yours, we wish you a blessed year, full of love, peace, anticiaption, and discovery.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

~ I Have Come Home ~

I have come home.
I have entered humanhood, bound to rocks and
plants, men and women, rivers and sky.
I shall be with you in this and other worlds.
When the cat arches in the doorway, think of me.
I have sometimes been like that.
When two men meet each other in the street, I am
there speaking to you.
When you look up, know I am there -
sun and moon - pouring my love around you.
All these things I am; portents, images, signs.
Though apart, I am part of you.
One of the million things in the universe, I am the
universe, too.
You think I disguise myself as rivers and trees
simply to confuse you?
Whatever I am, woman, cat or lotus, the same God
breathes in every body.
You and I together are a single creation.
Neither death nor spite nor fear nor ignorance
stops my love for you...
~ From the Waldorf Book of Poetry
Like so many millions of people on this Earth, I am whirling aimlessly in my days and  nights in the wake of the terrible tragedy that struck Connecticut's little town of Newtown; a place very much like my own. My heart is aching, so, so, deeply as I hear of and see the pain in the loss of so many innocent lives. Young souls that had only graced this planet for such a short time have now made a powerful impact and have landed upon the hearts of millions. Then there are the older souls, those loving, devoted, and selfless humans who when faced with danger, allowed themselves to be guided by grace and protect the lives that they were charged to care for.  I am in awe of them. My heart bursts with adoration for there immediate willingness to love at the highest level possible, without question.
The Christmas season has turned somber. It's hard to think of celebrating knowing that so many are wishing every minute that life isn't as it is. My eyes have become more keen at seeing my children; watching them, observing them, hearing them, loving them. I'm speaking slower, pregnant with more meaning. I'm holding their little bodies, breathing together, feeling their warmth, tuning into their little spirits......and then letting them go, and seeing their eye sparkle as they turn to look at me and smile. I don't think I have thanked the good Lord above so many time in day for the lives of my children. I am in constant prayer.......for them, for the ones who are missed, for me to have the strength to be more, give more, do more.
What I have learned about myself over the years is that I feel helpless when I can't be of use. I know that there is nothing in the world I could do for the community of Newtown, Connecticut to ease their suffering and agony. I will however, continue to send the my love, hold them in prayer, and shine the Light that I have been given up into the ethers, hoping at the very least they will sense some warmth and feel loved.
There is one thing I do wish to do. I would love for you to join me, should you feel called to do so. The photo above shows a woolen angel carrying a child in her arms. Late last night as I was pouring over articles and photos of those beautiful souls, angels came to my heart. I heard a whisper that asked me to make angels.......make an angel for each soul that is being missed in Newtown. So I began. I had never made such an angel before but had seen and appreciated many. I knew that I was being guided in creating this beautiful tribute because my hands instinctively knew what to do.
26 angels will be made.......I will bring them to Newtown myself before Christmas (it's only a mere 90 minutes from my home). If you, dear friend, would like to contribute an angel in honor of these amazing beings please comment below. I will be in touch with you each individually about how to retrieve them from you. Maybe if we aren't separated by too many miles we could meet in Newtown with our love and commitment to bring a little bit of Light to those who are so deeply saddened.

 Here is a link to our tutorial!!

Below you will see the button created by Eileen from Little Acorn Learning. She has begun a movement to keep the light in front of the darkness as we travel this new road within our lives. You can learn more here.

May wisdom shine through me,
May love glow within me,
May strength penetrate me,
That in me may arise
A helper of mankind,
A servant of holy things,
 Selfless, and true.
~ Adolph Arenson
also from The Waldorf Book of Poetry

Monday, December 10, 2012

Finding peace in patience

The past 5 days have been rather intense around here. Our wee Seraphina has become quite ill, including a persistent fever that would spike as high as 105.1 and required 2 trips to the Emergency Room, antibiotics, too much Motrin, and hardly a wink of sleep. Her poor little body is fighting so hard and yet she manages to smile and play between the highest points of her fever. I've attributed them to waves, like surfing......when her fever is down we're just kind of paddling along the water, relaxing and enjoying the extra snuggles but when her fever reaches it's climax it's "all hands on deck". She and I have become quite the team, I've learned her unique style of communication that lets me know she needs intervention, that the fever has become too much. We're both working hard to balance fear and worry with acceptance and patience. It's so hard. We're both so tired.
As you can see, not much else has been kept on top of. Between having my sick little babe and the other littles at home full time, homework (which I've barely just glanced over), trying to keep everyone fed, keeping the fire going, not to mention the never ending piles of laundry *sigh* one thing in particular has been far from my mind; holiday preparations. Nary a decoration or Christmas tree have appeared yet in our home. We've got the simple gestures of our Nature Table and Advent Garden (which has become a resting place for our cats) and nothing else. Typically, I'd be quite bewildered by all of this chaos. I so love this time of year and all that goes into creating the holiday mood within our home. Having said that, I'm OK with a delay in this year's preparations. It will happen, eventually. We will get our tree up and decorated. We will continue to add our little handmade additions to our Nature Table and Advent Garden. We will bake to our hearts content.......just not right now.
 If there's one thing this little Angel has taught me through all of this is that nothing is more important than the gift of time. St. Nicholas had written a letter to each child stating that each one would individually receive quality alone time with each parent each day. As a large family we have noticed how quickly we can become detracted from our ability to carve out enough time with each child. Some nights my husband and I go to bed realizing that we haven't spent alone time with each child in quite some time. I've got a bit of leverage in that department as I'm able to be home during the day so I do get that quality time with the littles, but my big kids is a totally different story. Seraphina has, through her persistent illness, opened my heart to accepting that all that little piddly stuff will always be there and the time I gain by ignoring the pressing call to clean or do laundry or wash dishes can now be spent chatting with my 12 year old, or fawning over make-up and hair accessories with my oldest daughter, or learning a new song with Charlotte, or goofing around with Kiki, or simply snuggling the day away with my little Seri in a nest on the sofa. Those nagging tasks will get done, but not before each child has received the time they most certainly deserve.
Not everything is lost in this; I have, at the very least, been able to keep up with the addition of a star each day thus far in Advent. It's a beautiful thing to see the ceiling above our Advent Garden fill up with these colorful stars. This has become a favorite quiet spot for Kiki to play. I have to admit, I do feel quite peaceful when I look over and see the soft glow of the lights beneath the cloth, the empty stable as it awaits the arrival of those coming to welcome the Baby Jesus. I have learned that there is peace in patience.......so, I will continue to cultivate patience during this week of healing.
Where are you finding your peace these days?

Thursday, December 6, 2012

St. Nicholas Day

Upon his snow white steed
 With wind and lightning speed
St. Nicholas leaves the sky
And comes a riding by.
The little hare hops nigh
And lifts his nose up high.
The stag, with pointing horn,
Jumps over bush and thorn.
And all the creatures dear
Are drawing quickly near.
Before St. Nicholas bow
Their little heads so low.
But we will learn a tune
Of sun and star and moon,
And sing our happy lay,
Sing on St. Nicholas Day.
~ Traditional German poem
Wishing all who have been visited by the kindness and generosity of St. Nicholas a beautiful and heart~filled day xo

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Sinterklaas & Time

There are many stories about St. Nicholas and I have many favorites I could share. A resource we have been using here at our home since the start of Advent is the website St. Nicholas Center. It is full of history, stories, games, crafts. We love it and the littles have been so eager to hear a new story or to look at the pictures again and again. What I truly love is that we are creating a new tradition in our home about the modern "Santa Claus" and what I know to be true in my heart. As a family, we have been pulling further and further away from the hysteria of a "traditional, cultural" Christmas. We've never been much into the whole Santa coming down the chimney thing and the purchasing of too many toys that will just end up gathering dust in the corner, ideal. We try very hard to protect our children from the onslaught of what many believe to be a normal celebration of Christmas. I say normal because I know first hand that the way we choose to celebrate (or not celebrate) is viewed by many in my life as abnormal!!  
One of the suggestions on the St. Nicholas Center website I love most is this one . The suggestion is to leave just a note behind, not a present or other trinket, just a note. What this note "gives" is the gift of time. Time to just be and spend with your loved one. The note could read:: "What I give to you is 30 minutes of conversation time with your Mama or Papa every night before bed". You can tailor this note to fit whatever model works best for you. The gift of time is much more valuable than any other gift you could give your child or partner, in my opinion. Celebrating St. Nicholas within the Advent season encourages a bit more magic and enchantment to all of our preparations and waiting for Christmas. We can focus on the good, kind and loving deeds of a true Saint which helps to redirect the gift giving energy to this time and opens up our Christmas celebrations to be wrapped more deeply around the celebration of the birth of Christ.
Another thought that comes up for me is, what about giving yourself time with just, well......yourself? What does that look and feel like? I'm still trying to figure out what that means for me. I've embarked on A Season of Mindfulness and in doing so I've been trying out what it feels like to really listen within, to slow it down and be present, or not. It's an uphill struggle to sort out all of those grizzly places that have been longing for attention. Most days are better than others but when I'm really digging deeply I've found that there is lots of clean-up to do. Years of neglect and stuffing means shifting and clearing the way won't happen overnight. That may be one of the most frustrating things about self-care and love.......I'm an instant gratification kinda girl, this isn't like needle felting :) Having said that I have had some wonderful break throughs. I know very deeply that I am extremely sensitive and my feelings get hurt easily. I am eagerly working on shifting all of that by being better about communicating (some days are better than others) and realizing that it's OK for me to be my *soul* provider. I've looked to my partner, mostly, to fulfill that role. That's a pretty large role to fill so when things don't happen or work out the way I would expect, my feelings get hurt. I would love to release my adoring husband and myself from all of that.......the beautiful thing about self-care and love is that you feel good about all of it! All that goodness and love comes from and continues to live within you. Imagine how that would fill you up?! Taking the time to do something nice for yourself will fill your vessel more quickly than waiting for someone else to do it!
Speaking of needle felting, I carved out some time to work on another St. Nicholas treat for one of my lovies that will go along with our little note (I'm really loving creating handmade treasures for my children this year!).
 I cut a 5" round piece of felt and needle felted some polka dots on to it.
Then I stitched a drawstring through it........
.......and voila! A felted drawstring pouch! I imagine it would make a lovely little package with a sweet little note from St. Nicholas to leave in my Bella's shoe. Later, she could use the pouch as a travel jewelry pouch. I'm sure she'll think of something.
What will your St. Nicholas celebration look like this year?

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

A St. Nicholas Day Treasure

Today I'm joining Nicole at Frontier Dreams for her Keep Calm Craft On series.
It's been such a lovely couple of days of getting things ready! The beginning of Advent, preparing for a month's worth of celebrating.  It's been a bit of a struggle to find the quiet, alone time to work on little treats for St. Nicholas to leave in my kiddos shoes but I was able to carve out a bit of time last night when I returned home from school. It was a bit late, and there was still come tidying up that needed to happen before I would allow myself to relax. Once that moment was realized, there was no stopping me!
Just a few weeks ago I finally found the courage to teach myself how to knit. It was something I had wanted for a very, very long time. As a child I had requested to learn, but, the timing was never right. As I got older, I was taught to crochet, so I built on those skills, sort of! Anyway, I saw this beautiful knitted story blanket and was so inspired by it that I went out and got a pair of needles and sat up late one night and watched about a dozen Youtube videos until I had it down! It was much easier than I had expected but I believe it came to me easily because I wished it so :) I've been so inspired by following along with various Yarn Alongs but don't quite have the skills to knit a sweater or something bigger or more complicated than a scarf! I've been finding that the back and forth knitting is getting a bit boring, I needed to spice things up a bit. I knew that I had wanted to put together some lovely peg dolls for the littles for St. Nicholas day so I thought (mind you, I truly was just imagining never did it dawn on me that I could make it happen) a knitted, little gnome hat would be a perfect finishing touch.
I found a very simple pattern, gathered all of my materials, and began! This little gnome came to life very quickly. He told me what colors to chose for his underclothes and coat. Even the blanket stitch. I didn't have to think of anything. Then came the little hat. I closed my eyes and put my hand into my yarn basket, pulled out a ball of yarn and proceeded to cast on.
This picture is several rows into my little hat; I had begun to decrease my stitches at this point. All of this is so new to me so when I saw that it was actually coming together, (read:: it was actually working) I could hardly contain my joy! And it was too late so no one was awake to share it with!
Here he is, in all of his splendid glory! I love him, dearly, and I love that when I was helping bring him to form that I immediately knew which little he would belong to. All of that love and energy is encapsulated within him. I just know that he will be deeply loved, a treasure to live among us, through our children's play-filled days. I can't wait to get started on the other little friend who will be joining him!
What are you working on?

Monday, December 3, 2012

Our first week of Advent

Now the twilight of the year
Comes, and Christmas draweth near.
See, across the Advent sky
How the clouds move quietly.
Earth is waiting, wrapt in sleep,
Waiting in a silence deep.
Birds are hid in bush and reed
Flowers are sleeping in their seed.
Through the woodland to and fro
Silent-footed creatures go.
Hedgehog curled in prickly ball
Burrows 'neath the leaves that fall.
Man and beast and bird and flower
Waiting for the midnight hour
Waiting for the Christ-child's birth
Christ who made the heaven and earth.
~ Ann Ellerton
Our first few days of Advent have been quite special. We had some lovely family time to tip it off. We spent lovely time at our church yesterday, welcoming in the Advent season, sharing a cup of coffee with our neighbors, and then the children all rehearsed a piece of music they will perform in the church's Christmas Eve service. I wished I had taken a picture of our Charlotte. Her little face with a smile from ear to ear as she sang her little heart out (when she remembered the words). This is her first ever performance, well.......actually, when she  was not not even 2 years old she was a little Angel in the Christmas pageant. She flitted about, not following at all what was happening. She gave those that came to see it quite a laugh, and me a run for my money! Either way, it was beautiful to watch.
We have had our Nature Table and Advent Garden set now for about a week.  We just couldn't wait! Our Nature Table is donned with a blue silk and a porcelain dish with some stones and shells. Our chalkboard drawing reads the first part of Rudolf Steiner's poem for Advent.....
The first Light of Advent is the Light of stones,
Stones that lives in crystals, seashells and bones.
Over our Advent garden (which is located on a large dresser in our dining room) is ready and waiting for the addition of all those who will  arrive in time for the coming of the Christ child; stones, plants, sheep, donkeys, shepards, the Angel, Joseph and Mary. As the days go on, we will add other elements to bring a focus toward waiting........in hope, in honor of, and in love. We have 3 stars hanging above our garden and will have more as time goes on. On Christmas morning, the largest star will be hung in honor of the one we've been anticipating all through Advent.
It's been a beautiful week of preparations. This week we will also celebrate St. Nicholas Day. I'm working  on handmade gifts for the littles and the big kids. Below is a picture of a felted bill fold (?) for my son. He loves wallets......I thought I'd see how it goes :) for my oldest daughter, I'll be making her a little felted pouch for her jewelry.

Here, in this photo, are the fixings for some peg dolls for the littles. I'm excited to get my hands on these colorful felt pieces and see what little friends are born from them.

Season of Mindfulness:: Day 4
An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break. May you be open to each thread that comes into your life - the golden ones and the coarse ones - and may you weave them into a brilliant and beautiful life ~ Ancient Chinese proverb
I saw these words this morning at The Magic Onions  (on their Facebook page) and they inspired my focus for today's mindfulness meditation. How do these invisible threads effect your relationships? How do they effect you during this Advent season? Are your threads breaking off as you become unattached to certain aspects of your life? Do you want to be unattached? I'm working on realigning my relationships with my  hopes for where I would like to be. It would be hard to get anywhere if you where surrounding yourself with those who were not holding you up or contributing positivity to your moments. It's because of those people that we are so deeply connected to that we have gotten where we are today. There are those people we are connected to that we don't even know, like that guy at the coffee shop! It's our smiles, our "how do you dos", it's holding the door open, it's offering a helping hand. These threads that connect us is what makes our days that much brighter, or darker, depending on who we let in. Who are you letting in?
How are you preparing today? This week? This season?
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