So, the reality is, and I've said it before, simple doesn't always mean easy! Focusing our attention and devotion to living simply, accepting simplicity as a lifestyle, and knowing in our hearts that it's the very small things in our everyday life that makes it grand is the color I choose to paint with......mostly......on a good day! :)
Today, like so many other days these past 6 weeks, I woke up tired! I love my new baby more than words could ever express however she's winning in the sleep war while I'm waving my white flag of surrender. I couldn't be more exhausted and weary........so today, I rolled out of bed after having tried to "sleep in" (ie: wide awake babe lying next to the Mama who's trying to sneak an extra hour or so of "sleep" while the baby kicks, cries, spits up, poops, and fusses leaving the Mama with just another hour or so of broken minutes of "sleep" just like the other 5 hours before!) walked down the hallway to find a sink full of dishes, a couch still covered in crumbs from last night, shoes and toys scattered around the living room, among a myriad of other cluttered messes that have been there for much longer but got under my skin and irritated me more today than any other day! So, my unsuspecting husband (who had gotten up extra early to begin a bid for a potential job, was most likely in a good mood before I walked in) witnessed a "New Mama Meltdown" as I cried (and reached temper tantrum levels of hysteria) over my lack of sleep, my wish for just an hour or two of unbroken sleep, the wish that the house cleaning gnomes would make a stop at our house to pick up after everyone while I'm sleeping, the laundry would be started and the laundry that was folded from the last washing day would be put away, the floors would be swept, and a nice hot cup of coffee would be waiting for me upon my waking! A tall order, I know, but it's days like this one where I would daydream about having a someone to do all those things for me, where simple meant easy, lazy, no stress, no worries.
The best part about all of this reality stuff is that now that I've released it (and having made myself a great cup of coffee and completed all the chores I listed above) I'm not wishing for that someone, because I am that someone. I am the creator of my own life, I can choose who I want to be (thanks for reminding me DH) and I choose to create a life that is simple, even when it's not easy, my life bring me so many wonderful joys, deep, deep happiness, strength and learning, and unconditional love......even when I'm having a tantrum akin to that of our two year old!
Life has been very real.......it's not always a fairytale (in the moment) but the lessons to be learned and the life to be had is a glorious one, and I wouldn't trade it for the best Maid in town!
"Let's have a merry journey, and shout about how light is good and dark is not. What we should do is not future ourselves so much. We should now ourselves. "NOW thyself" is more important than "Know thyself." Reason is what tells us to ignore the present and live in the future. So all we do is make plans. We think that somewhere there are going to be green pastures. It's crazy. Heaven is nothing but a grand, monumental instance of future. Listen, now is good. Now is wonderful." ~ Mel Brooks