"Let's have a merry journey, and shout about how light is good and dark is not. What we should do is not future ourselves so much. We should now ourselves. "NOW thyself" is more important than "Know thyself." Reason is what tells us to ignore the present and live in the future. So all we do is make plans. We think that somewhere there are going to be green pastures. It's crazy. Heaven is nothing but a grand, monumental instance of future. Listen, now is good. Now is wonderful." ~ Mel Brooks

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Do you hear what I hear?

"At time's turning point
The World's Spirit-Light
Entered the stream
Of Earthly Evolution;
Darkness of night
Had held its sway
Day-radiant Light
Poured into human souls.
That gave warmth
To simple shepherd's hearts;
That enlightened
The wise heads of kings.
O Light Divine,
O Sun of Christ,
Warm thou our hearts,
Enlighten thou our heads
That good may become
From what our hearts
We would found,

What from our heads
We would purposefully direct."
     ~ Rudolf Steiner

The silence and reverence that sets upon us at this time of year is palpable; all of our senses can hear, see, and feel that a shift is near. For me, it happens every year at this time. The little child inside me awakens from a year of deep slumber (or hushing probably as I'm distracted by the other children in my life xo). I allow myself to unfold and give all of myself over to the many profound possibilities of this special time. The light, the love, the welcoming of the energy of the Christ Child, all of these pulse through me, rejuvenate me cell by cell, I am more forgiving of myself and of others. I wish I could bottle this feeling up and carry it with me all through the year. I try, boy do I try. I am human, after all.....

This week has been a week of looking very deeply inward. I have been challenging myself to see where I fall short, were I expect too much of myself and others. I have looked at those places where I've stored up anger and resentment, sadness and loneliness. It's not pretty.......it's hard and sometimes painful. Looking in the mirror and seeing, nay, feeling as though I've failed is a sorrowful place to start the Advent season. On the contrary, I couldn't imagine starting anywhere else.

Me and my special Birthday girl! Kiki was my 30th Birthday gift xo
 I turned thirty-three this year; the Christ year. I've heard many a story about ones trials and tribulations to seek and discover a deeper sense of self. I experienced it through my husband and his Christ year. I began preparing for these experiences last year; hoping to do much needed inner work to alleviate any tumult and suffering and more in the way of celebration and joy. Well, you can't really prepare for that kind of thing, so, I feel like as long as I've been immersed now for a full year, I may as well get down to the nitty-gritty. What better time than at Advent?!

This emotional and spiritual quest only propels me to dive deeper into the celebrating at hand. Every plan, every activity, every beautifully placed decoration is done with much attention to being mindful and full of spirit and foremost.....how will my children feel, see, or hear this little piece of magic?  My heart is directed toward creating that unique mood of Christmastime not just for me, but for my children. Inside, as I struggle to find my spiritual side of wife/mother/homemaker/sister/daughter/friend/student/neighbor (sigh) I am overwhelmed not by feeling spread thin, but by realizing my great fortune to have so many meaningful roles in this lifetime. How grateful I am to hold those wee ones in my arms, day after day. How grateful I am to love and kiss that amazing man who chose me above all others. How grateful I am to love and cherish each person in my life, hopefully enough so that they know how much they mean to me when we part ways. It's these little reminders that allow me to hear the peace sinking in.......my heart and mind are quiet. I am holding that spirit of the Christ Child in my arms. *breathe*breathe*breathe*

"The gift of the light
We thankfully take,
But nothing may be
Just alone for our sake.
The more we give light
The one to the other
It shines and spreads life
Growing still further;
Till every spark is set aflame.
Till every heart Joy shall proclaim"
     ~ M. Tittman (from the German)

As you wait for the Christ Child and as you wait to hear/feel your peace sink in; how do you honor the spirit in your life? Do you have any special ways that you give presence to your inner peace? What special rituals does your family have that helps to honor these shifts in yourself and in your family culture?

Wishing you peace and quiet, in your heart and mind,  this Advent season xo

1 comment:

  1. so beautiful. i had a rough year at 33. interesting that it is called the christ year, it makes sense, i had so many inner struggles.
    you write so beautifully.


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