"Let's have a merry journey, and shout about how light is good and dark is not. What we should do is not future ourselves so much. We should now ourselves. "NOW thyself" is more important than "Know thyself." Reason is what tells us to ignore the present and live in the future. So all we do is make plans. We think that somewhere there are going to be green pastures. It's crazy. Heaven is nothing but a grand, monumental instance of future. Listen, now is good. Now is wonderful." ~ Mel Brooks

Thursday, March 28, 2013

{ pretty, happy, funny, real }

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~
Every Thursday, at Like Mother, Like Daughter

{pretty}

 
The first of our spring time flowers have begun to peek there pretty little blossoms this week. I've been desperate for some joy as it has been a sad time in our home (more about that below).As I was driving around aimlessly the other day I saw these lovely gifts off the side of the road. I just had to stop and take in their beauty and express my gratitude for their existence and snap this picture. The crocus, the flower of St. Valentine, is also associated with joy and merriment, devotion, and love. All of which are entirely appropriate for this season of my life.
 
{ happy }

 
We're on vacation this week. We get away every couple of years or so and by the time things fall into place well enough for us to actually pull off an excursion, our vessels are in desperate need of refilling/refreshing. It's always a rocky start, this time in particular (again, you'll find out why below). Emotions ran high, we were all fragile and raw. By the time we left, it was past dinner time and we had 6 hours to go before we reached the half way point of our trip. Needless to say, the joy and merriment :) that we each felt to have simply left our sadness behind was well worth the immense amount of frantic preparations and scurrying about to simply make it out the door at all. We're happy to be in the midst of dear ones who we love and who bring so much joy to our hearts. Healing will be well underway in their company.
 
{ funny }
 
 
This photo speaks for itself :)
 
{ real }

 
This is a photo of me and my pup of 11 years. Rosco passed away on Tuesday. Sadly, we had to intervene. I never imagined that would have been something I would ever have to do, but, it was. It was an amazingly powerful day. I could get into all the details of the whys and hows and what brought us to the point of no return, but really, there's no point. The only thing that matters is that his passing was truly beautiful. He came to me at a mere 4 months old via a pit bull rescue group. He needed a lot of immediate care and I was more than willing to give it to him. In return, he was the man of my house for many years. He was the guardian and protector of my children and me. He would stay awake at night and keep guard and then sleep most days to be ready for the children in the afternoon. He loved walks in the woods and mountains. He didn't fancy water much but would tolerate our insatiable need for the river and creeks around our home. He traveled to Block Island and Kentucky many times and  to NYC  on a weekly/bi-weekly basis for many years. Rosco won over the hearts of my parents. my father in particular. He called him Waldo because we were always asking "Where's Rosco?" because at my folks he could go and go between creeks and meadows and wander to his heart's content. His life meant so much to our little pack. Even as he aged and withdrew more and more, his sheer existence meant we were whole. Over the last few years he didn't travel anymore, he didn't spend his days wandering. He spent them in loving devotion to simply being present, for us. He chose to continue his life based on love alone. I have so many beautiful images of him now; his fur is clean and shiny and full, his smile is big and his eyes are bright.
 
This song came to me out of nowhere this last week. I was immediately drawn to it without really knowing the words. My 5 year old wanted to hear it over and over, and so we listened. When Rosco passed, all of a sudden, the words clicked. I highlighted the parts that really resonated with me quite deeply. Part of the images I have are of him sitting in a meadow, looking my way, waiting. Just waiting, for me. And I believe he will be.......
 
 
Well, I came home
Like a stone
And I fell heavy into your arms
These days of darkness
Which we've known
Will blow away with this new sun
But I'll kneel down,
Wait for now
And I'll kneel down,
Know my ground

And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

So break my step
And relent

Well, you forgave and I won't forgetKnow what we've seen
And him with less
Now in some way shake the excess

'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you

Now I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart

So tame my flesh
And fix my eyes
A tethered mind freed from the lies

And I'll kneel down,
Wait for now
I'll kneel down,
Know my ground

Raise my hands
Paint my spirit gold
And bow my head
Keep my heart slow

'Cause I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you
And I will wait, I will wait for you  

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry for your family's loss. It's a beautiful song. Mumford & Sons hits the spot every time.

    We had to "put down" my childhood dog down in September. I had so wanted it to happen peacefully, naturally, but as with Rosco, the timing for Princess was right. We made the arrangements a few days before; my heart was heavy because she was still responding, still eating, still wagging. "We can't just get rid of her because she's inconvenient," I said. But the vet assured us that it would only go downhill from here. She was blind and deaf and couldn't walk or pick herself up to go to the bathroom. On the day the vet and his kind assistant came to my folks' house, my sister, who is back and forth between Florida, California, and Texas, was able to be there, to hold Princess's head in her lap. And that day, Princess didn't get up, or look around, or show any sign of caring to live any more. It was time. We gathered as a family and held her as she fell asleep.

    Thanks for listening; I haven't really gotten a chance to express that yet; it's still tender. Princess's sister Duchess is still with us, but I'm dreading it less this time around because of the good experience with Princess. Though I still wish she could go peacefully and naturally.

    The crocuses are lovely; bulbs are heralds of hope, to me, somehow. We don't have them in Florida, but I bought some hyacinths to keep in the window. I hope my lack of a green thumb doesn't interfere with them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a hard time, losing a pet. I'm happy you found the space here to let some of your grief go. It will be something that lives with you for a long, long time. At some point, there will be less grief and more peace....remembering those most precious moments will overshadow the sadder times. I know I've been working really hard on bringing life back into that spot he holds in my heart. I still see his face in my mind everynight before I sleep, while I sleep, and throughout the day. That's the beauty of love.....it never leaves you. xoxox

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  2. Sorry for your loss. What a wonderful animal to have shared so much o your life with.

    And your "funny" is glorious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Rebekah! That "funny" moment was glorious, wasn't it! The pinnacle of stellar timing :)

      And thank you for sharing in my sorrow. Rosco was truly wonderful xoxo

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